I Guess Thats How You Call A Game

I try to ignore baseball announcers. They’re only there for the casual fan anyway.  As good as Jon Miller or someone of that ilk is, are they really going to tell me anything I don’t know? Oh you say Ryan Zimmermans good defensively? Oh thanks for that! Wouldn’tve guessed! What’s worse than the cavalcade of mediocre play-by-play guys is of course, the ex-players. Jesus Christ. Has an ex-player ever said ANYTHING during a game that made you say ”well shit…good point”. No. That has never happened to any real fan in the history of televised baseball. Repeatedly these washed-up ex-”stars” are given a mike. Unfortunately they were never given a clue. The best example of this is Washington Nationals color man Rob Dibble. For about 240 games the last 2 seasons, I have listened to this ”expert” try to announce a baseball game. He has tried to add an insight, a statistic, something that would improve the experience of watching a bad to mediocre baseball team play…..and he has failed every effing time. Take last night for example. Nats reliever Collin Balester put a fastball upside D-backs third basemen Mark Reynolds head, after doing the same thing to Brewers second basemen Rickie Weeks on last Sunday. This allowed Dibble to go on for a solid 8-10 minutes about how you have to be in control on the mound, how the baseball is weapon. The same baseball that, when he was a player, Dibble threw at peoples heads. The same baseball that he once fired into the stands, hitting a pregnant woman. Does he not remember his career? He made a living being the guy who would throw at your head! Meanwhile both Dibble and his partner Bob Carpenter- who broadcasts as if he’s hoping Dibble will take him to prom, continued preaching about the dangers of throwing inside, ignoring the better and less obvious storyline of recent beanball victims struggling to cover the inside of the plate post-recovery.  But no, instead of adding something to the broadcast, Dibble continued to shame Balester for the same thing that got him his job while Carpenter applied some hand lotion, loosened Dibs belt, jerked him off, and told him he was better than Randy Myers. I guess thats how you call a game.