Washington Nationals: Santa Answers Gift Requests
By Ron Juckett
MIKE RIZZO – A CLOSER
Nats General Manager Mike Rizzo asked us this year with help to find a closer for the team.
A quick check of the internet auction sites came back with Jonathan Papelbon as the best match. We remembered that was his wish two summers ago, but Papelbon did not work as advertised and we graciously accepted his return.
We searched for Aroldis Chapman and Kenley Jansen in our warehouses, but they were ticketed to other places. Instead, we packed an erector set for Rizzo and instructions how to turn Blake Treinen, Koda Glover and Shawn Kelley into a proper closer.
If he carefully reads the instructions and holds on to the washer and screws packed with the set, he should be able to create his own. If not, we included a few coupons good for his next trade. Other teams, we hope, still take Green Stamps.
Greg Holland came up in our search engines, but the elves in the repair department claim they are unsure he will be ready in time for Spring Training. We tucked an unlisted number in Rizzo’s stocking if he would rather have Holland or can come up with another name.
Frankly, the erector set clogged a hallway and we are glad to be rid of it.